How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling: 10 Tips to Help You Let Go

How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling
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How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling: 10 Tips to Help You Let Go

How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling – It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it? You worry that your partner will cheat on you if you aren’t watching them all the time, so you become jealous and controlling. But your partner resents this behavior and begins to want to spend more time away from you in order to feel appreciated. So, now you feel like they might be stepping out on you, so you watch them even more closely, which only reinforces their desire to be apart from you…and the cycle continues. Sound familiar?

How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling
How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling


What is Control?

Controlling your partner is not a way to show love and caring. In fact, it can lead you down a very dark path. When someone feels they need to be in control of their partner, they are really trying to protect themselves from feeling hurt or rejected.

Control is often rooted in fear of abandonment or loneliness.

1. Acknowledge your jealousy

There are many reasons that people can be jealous. Here are a few examples of what it might look like in relationships:

-Your partner spends time with someone else.

-You hear about your partner’s past relationships.

-You feel like you’re not getting enough attention or love from your partner.

2. Know what makes you jealous – How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling

If you’re feeling jealous, it’s important that you understand what it is that makes you feel that way. For instance, are you upset because your partner is spending time with someone else? Or do you get jealous when they spend money on themselves? Understanding the root of your jealousy will help to make steps towards fixing it.

3. Accept that it’s OK to be jealous, sometimes

It’s normal to be jealous. It can be a sign that you care about your partner, or it might point out something you’re not getting in your relationship. However, it’s important to know when jealousy is unhealthy or controlling and when it’s just a normal feeling.

Learn how to stop being jealous and controlling by taking a closer look at your feelings. Understanding what triggers your jealousy can help you get a better handle on it, even if you’re not in a relationship at all. It’s OK for partners to be jealous; it happens. But there’s a point where jealousy crosses from normal into controlling territory, says Tim Jones, PhD, author of When Jealousy Hurts. This is when you start obsessing about your partner’s behavior or dwelling on negative thoughts about them.

4. Think about what you really need from someone

If you’re feeling jealous, it might be a sign that you’re not getting what you need from the relationship. Think about how they make you feel and if they give you what you want. And if they don’t, think about how to change your expectations or how to get your needs met by someone else.

It’s normal for your expectations for how a partner will make you feel and act to change as your needs change. As you’re starting a new relationship, it’s important that you’re both aware of what each other is looking for from it so that you can negotiate your terms realistically. If there are any things that aren’t clear about what it takes for someone to meet your needs, ask them about those expectations before assuming anything.

5. Ask for clarification of your needs – How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling

In order to stop being jealous and controlling, it’s important that you stop trying to control how the other person is feeling. Instead, try asking them how they feel in an open-ended way. You might be surprised by what you find out about their needs.

Many of us struggle with jealousy, especially when it comes to our partners. However, if you want a healthy relationship that lasts, it’s important that you let go of trying to control your partner and focus on your own feelings instead.

6. Practice the opposite behavior – How to Stop Being Jealous and Controlling

One of the best ways to stop being jealous or controlling is to practice the opposite behavior. For example, if you’re jealous because your significant other spends more time with friends, try spending more time with friends yourself. If you’re jealous because they don’t communicate enough, take a few minutes each day to talk about what’s going on in your lives.

If you’re struggling with jealousy due to doubts about your partner’s loyalty, spend some time learning about fidelity. There are a lot of great resources out there for both partners in a relationship. Take advantage of them.

7. Develop your own life and don’t rely on someone else’s success for your happiness

Everyone is different, which means that some people are more susceptible to jealousy than others. If you think you might be one of these people, know that there are ways you can stop being jealous and controlling..

Understand that you don’t have control over your loved one’s life. It’s not always easy, but you can learn how to stop being jealous by learning to accept that other people will have their own successes. Instead of focusing on these successes as something that is taking away from your life, try finding a way you can incorporate them into your own pursuits.

8. Get rid of toxic people in your life – but only if they are truly toxic

Most important one is to get life back on track. When you’re feeling out of control, it’s important that you take the time to figure out what’s going on. The first thing you need to do is put a stop to any toxic relationships in your life. This signs might help to know whether you have hurt your partner.

As you begin working on your self-control, it’s time to eliminate any toxic people in your life. First of all, identify who they are. Do they make you feel bad about yourself? Are they jealous of what you have? It’s important that you take steps to end these toxic relationships once and for all. They’ll only hold you back from living your best life.

9. Give yourself space – everyone needs some personal time every now and then!

If you find yourself feeling jealous or controlling, give yourself space. Everyone needs a little personal time every now and then, so make sure you’re setting aside some alone time for yourself every day. It’s important to take care of your mental health as well!


In conclusion, it is possible to stop being jealous or controlling. All you have to do is listen more and talk less, be supportive of your partner, don’t blame them for your unhappiness, forgive yourself or your partner for mistakes that were made in the past, take responsibility for your own emotions, forgive others for their mistakes as well as yours, learn how to compromise instead of demanding everything you want from the start.

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